Bureaucrazy

So on Thursday afternoon, a Purolator truck arrived in our driveway, to deliver Griffin's long awaited birth certificate. I opened the package to find his little blue card. However, I also ordered a "Long Form" birth certificate, which we need to get Griffin's Passport (which is another issue all together...see below!) and I was surprised that it wasn't in the envelope too.

Well low and behold if another Purolator truck doesn't pull in the driveway yesterday, just one little day after the first truck, to deliver the long form certificate. The certificate that I ordered at the SAME TIME, with the SAME credit card, in the SAME transaction even. You would think they could get it together enough to put them in the same envelope and send them out together. But NO! Likely the one comes from the Little Blue Card room, and the other comes from the Photocopy room, because it turns out that the Long Form is just an effen Photo Copy of the Birth Registration that I filled out by hand about 4 and a half months ago. A THIRTY FIVE DOLLAR photocopy!! Although I suppose they need that 35 bucks to pay the Purolator guy.

Your Tax Dollars hard at work!

And then there's the whole passport issue. We're traveling to Florida in March, and in the everlasting wisdom of the United States Government, everyone traveling by air to their fair country needs to have a passport. It's an attempt to keep terrorists from entering the country, this I understand. But Passports for everyone?? For children?? For INFANTS???

Seriously.

Because my day's are filled with teaching my child to suck his thumb, eat from a spoon, and make bombs by combining Penaten and Gripe Water (a lethal combination, I assure you.)

Really.

And then, just when you thought the world couldn't get any dumber...

My Mom went through a whole pile of caca trying to change the name on many of her accounts when my dad died - Bell, Ontario Hydro, the satellite company, all these people needed to have a DEATH CERTIFICATE faxed to them to prove that my dad did indeed die, and my Mom could take over paying countless dollars to the Bloodsuckers that these people are. Like she would lie about it! Like she felt like faxing death certificates all over the city!

"We'll need a death certificate if you want to add call waiting. Oh, and here's a hammer, why don't you pound that nail in a little bit deeper!!"

Now, as she prepares to move, she tried to get the hydro company to cancel her account. The buggers wanted a copy of my dad's WILL, to prove that my Mom is the executor to the estate and actually has the RIGHT to shut down the hydro account!! Can you frickin believe it???!!! It's like a cult that you can't get out of unless you die, and even then it's questionable if you ever will.

Un-Fricking-believable.