Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Dear Mother Nature


What's eating you, Mother Nature? Is it us?

I always pictured you as a nice lady, but after this much snow you're one mean slut

SCOTT FESCHUK March 12, 2008

An Open Letter to Mother Nature

Dear Bitch,

Are you for real?

We know it was wrong of us to stand idly by and let Al Gore show all those explicit photographs of what you're going to look like 30 years from now. But seriously — ease off. Enough with the apocalyptic downfalls of snow mixed with ice pellets mixed with freezing rain mixed with snow pellets mixed with the frozen tears of sedentary Maclean's columnists who just can't lift the shovel even one more goddamn time. I'm not saying I'm totally sick of winter, but see that animal's head mounted above my fireplace? Say hello to Punxsutawney Phil. Shadow-seeing bastard had it coming.

Read the rest the face of this never-ending winter, it's perfect!


Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Absolutely perfect!

I kind of hate that Al Gore was right. I wanted to think that everything he was saying was a fallacy, but, given how goofy the weather has been the past few years, I fear he may have actually understated where we are headed. Ugh.

gretel said...

Hah...I just read 'dooce', too! Good thing we have a helpful American to lead us to the Canadian journalistic gems, eh?