When Griffin was younger, we took him every where with us. That's E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E. He often came to opening nights at the theatre with us, and fell asleep in the stroller while we drank free wine and schmoozed. Now that Griffin goes bat-shit crazy when he doesn't go to bed at 7:30pm, in his own bed, in his own home, in his own PJ's, with a snuggle and a rock in the rocking chair and a bottle of slightly tepid soy formula (yes, we have a very specific bedtime routine!) we don't take him out in the evening so much anymore.
Still, people see me and Steve out past dark, together, and sans toddler, and the first thing they say is "Where's Griffin?" Not "Hello, nice to see you out on a lovely night like this!" or "Boy, don't you look smashing tonight!" but "where's that cute kid that you normally travel with, that distracts us from your handsome good looks?"
While the appropriate response is "Griffin is at home, with the babysitter, OF COURSE" (Inside voice - "Goofball!") I often resort to other responses...since it's a pretty moronic question, I often feel that it deserves a pretty moronic response.
Some favourites include:
"Oh, we just left him in the car. He's buckled up, so he must be safe."
"Griffin? Griffin who?"
And my personal favourite:
"He's at home. We just duct tape him to the dog and hope for the best!"
I mean, seriously, where do you THINK he would be? And why the heck are you thinking about my cute kid when I went to all the trouble to put MASCARA on tonight...you should be bowled over by my MAKEUP, and the fact that I remembered to put deodorant on, neveryoumind the blond toddler that's usually attached to my hip!
And while I'm here, since I'm here, I'd like to send a shout out to Gretel, who's 37th birthday is today (OK, it's yesterday by now!) and who's voicemail box was full today so I couldn't leave a message...I wasn't sure if you were ignoring the phone, or too busy puking to answer the phone (and now I see that you actually went to work...who knew!) but Happy Birthday never the less. I have a wee prezzy for you...and I might make you come 'n git it!! Hope you had a wonderful day!! Love from all us Roofies!