Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Yes

(Holy heck, three posts in one day Batman! This blogging spree is brought to you by the new hammock, and Ocean Wonders.)

Well, it's the last day of Five for Ten, and I'm sorry to see it go. I've found a bunch of great new blogs (to add to my already taxed reader!) and found some new friends to hang with on Twitter. Yay all the way around!

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Yes.

I want to be the mom that says yes.

Can you come and play with me?

Can you watch this show with me?

Mom, I want you to come and sit with me.

Yes, of course I'll come and spend time with you.

But so often those times, those questions, coincide with dinner prep, laundry folding, and any other of the one million things that need to get done in a day. So I say "not right now dear" instead.

I'm trying so very hard to say yes more often. The laundry can wait. Dinner bubbling on a hot stove can't but maybe he can help then, instead of being dismissed to play alone.

There's only so long that he's going to want to play Grass Dragons with me, before I (and Grass Dragon) becomes relegated to "not cool," and then I'll wish I said yes more often.

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I walk into a bathroom that's covered in water, my son is "painting the sink" with soap bubbles, and he proudly displays his work.

"Do you like it?"

He looks at me expectantly, and my first instinct is to scold. The bathroom floor is covered in water. He is SOAKED. The water is dripping down the walls. And my bottle of fancy organic hand soap is considerably less full than it was an hour ago. But he's been so happy in here for the past 30 minutes, playing, painting, and he's so happy with his bubble-covered sink.

I re-evaluate.

What's he hurting? Nothing. Nothing broken here, nothing damaged, nothing unsafe. Nothing here that a towel (and a few dollars for some more soap) won't fix.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes...yes I do."

He smiles.

And my heart grows a little bit bigger.

7 comments:

Cheryl said...

Aww..I think HIS heart grew bigger too! I'm also working on saying more "yes" to my kids. Thanks for sharing!

Cate, Real Life with Kids said...

Jenn,
How wonderful! It is sooooo easy to jump to the scold - when relatively speaking it's like crying over spilled milk.
That reminds me of the "clean underwear" story I have of Michael(6). I'm gonna have to write that up in a post. :) I'm so happy to have discovered your blog!
Cate

natalie said...

Aww, Jenn...found you via Momalom and thank you for coming by my blog!

This is what I try to do a lot - as long as no one is being hurt, I'm trying to be more relaxed.

kate said...

hooray for painted sinks and for mamas who know when to say yes!

...i also liked the hammock post and have plans to make my own! thanks so much for that.

Cynthia Krajcarski said...

What a sweet post... and what a great thing to aspire to!!! This is definitely one more thing to add to my list when my baby girl is older... She can't ask me now, and I'm pretty sure she'd tell me to leave her alone if she could talk.

Jen said...

I think I hate saying "not right now," "in a minute" and "later" more than I hate "no." They all leave too much possibility for a "yes," but when I say them what I mean is "NO." And I had one of those water moments today with my daughter. She was flooding the bathroom and having a blast and I was too tired to intervene right away. So I let her go. And the only victim was my son's Harry Potter toothbrush. Not bad. :)

Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings said...

I am trying so hard to say 'yes' more often too. Thinking about how much those little moments mean and that a messy floor, or a late bedtime might be a big deal right now, but later...it isn't going to matter at all.