Friday, February 01, 2008

Impending Doom Wahoo! Snow Day!!

Once again, we seem to be bracing for the worst storm in 20 years. Hey, didn't we play this game a few months ago? Yuh huh. Shure did! Here's how the doom and gloom looks, from the Environment Canada's point of view. Environment Canada being THE people at the top of the Weather Forcast Foodchain:

Latest indications show the potential for significant amounts of snow from this deepening low as it tracks...blah blah blah. This type of winter storm often has a swath of 15 to 30 centimetres of heavy snow associated with it. Freezing rain and ice pellets will also be a problem as the storm centre gets close to the lower Great Lakes...good times.

The leading edge of the snow is expected to reach the [us] late tonight then spread rapidly northeast across [to the rest of youz] on Friday morning.

Ice pellets and freezing rain may also be an issue to contend with generally in regions near and southeast of highway 401. Exact snowfall amounts and the location of ice pellets and freezing rain will depend upon the exact track of this developing storm....yada yada yada.

Travellers should be prepared to alter plans accordingly again as driving conditions once again will deteriorate significantly on Friday. The heaviest snow should begin over southwestern Ontario Friday morning and over eastern Ontario Friday afternoon. This storm has the potential to be quite significant and have high impact especially if heavy snow develops.

Outside at this moment, it is quiet and still. The sky is clear, there's a wee wind, but nothing like the effin GALE FORCE WINDS we had yesterday when we thought the ENTIRE ROOF was going to come right off our cozy little house. I shit you not...if we had a storm celler, we would have been in it on Tuesday night! Anyway, my point is, that if you look outside right now, you might be tempted to think that this entire thing is a joke. A conspriacy, set up by Walmart or someone, to force us to go out and stock up on canned beans, candles, and wind up radios. I'm certain it's not, and the likelihood of us being burried up to our arseholes in snow by this time tomorrow is pretty good (especially since we're burried to pretty darn near our arseholes on a regular day) but wouldn't that be the ultimate practical joke? Seriously.

My Dad always joked about setting up a roadblock for a few days near my childhood home and our family business, which was on pretty major highway. Just a little two laner, but I grew up on Highway 2, which was essentially the Southwestern Ontario thoroughfare before the 401 existed. He just thought it would be nice to have peace and quiet for a few days and nights. Just pop out some signs, pound in a few detour posts, and sit back and relax.

I always thought it was a great idea...people would TOTALLY follow it, at least for a day or two, nobody would know the difference, or even care, because the signs were obviously put there by "the man" and you totally trust what the man says because, well, because he's the man! Same dealio with the weather. You just trust Enviroment Canada because, well, they're Environment Canada. But wouldn't be hilarious if they were just shitting us? Oh, there'd be a big to-do, uproar, you lied Morgan you're a liar, blah blah, but you'd have a smile and a laugh, if even for a second, and wouldn't a few more laughs and smiles in all our lives be a good thing? I'd like to see the next forcast come across the board looking a little something like this:

Latest indications show the potential for a pantload of snow...wahooo! Snow Day!!! This type of winter storm often has a swath of 15 to 30 centimetres of heavy packing snow associated, perfect for building snowmen, skiing, snowmobiling, or sitting around a fireplace getting liquored on hot toddys because your power will be out and you won't have to go to work tomorrow!! This storm has the potential to be quite significant and have high impact, going so far as to cancel all exams scheduled for the week. Due to the serious nature of this storm, and the potential economical impact, any skiing or other recreational sports will, for the rest of the winter, be tax deductable, especially if heavy snow develops.

1 comment:

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

I think you may be on to something . . . how often do we hear that the end is near only for it to be sunny and 35 degrees the next day? It's happened more times than I can count.