Sunday, January 03, 2010

Over. Due.

I know, I know, I've heard it all.

"Baby will come when he's ready."

"It's only an ESTIMATED due date."

"I know how you feel."

"Just relax and rest, and before you know it, he'll be here."

Yup, heard it all. And I know it's all true. However, this is MY blog, and my place to rant, vent, post naked pictures of myself (HA! Had you scared there!) and do anything else I want. And since that's what I'm about to do, if you don't want to hear it, you best go now.

So. Now that half of you have left the room, for the other half, I have the current running tally of things we've tried, unsuccessfully obviously, to help convince baby to come out (even though I'm only 3 days overdue):

Homeopathic remedies (x3)
Acupuncture
Acupressure
Spicy foods (tonight at dinner, which I am currently paying for...heavily)
Pineapple
Basil
Oregano
Sex
Nipple stimulation
Evening Primrose Oil
Walking
Tractor riding
Eating copious amounts of chocolate (oh wait, that's just part of my daily routine)
Raspberry Leaf Tea
Sitting on the birthing ball for hours at a time
Deep relaxation

Obviously, none of these have worked, and friends, I am tired of being pregnant. I am tired of Tums, tired of peeing 7 times a night and the effort that it takes to haul myself out of bed each time, tired of my boobs hurting for no good reason (I might as well be breastfeeding 18 times a day if my boobs are going to hurt this much) and tired of shirts that only cover the top 3/4 of my abdomen.

Here's the list of things I have not tried, that are still in my arsenal, all of which I plan on busting out tomorrow:

Sending the kid back to daycare
Watching a weepy movie and having a good cry (am now taking suggestions...please know that it takes a damn sad movie to make me cry!)
Wear my fanciest underwear Buy some new fancy underwear that actually fits, cause sure as hell the moment I put them on, my water will break.

I KNOW baby will come when he's ready and 100% cooked. I KNOW every day he spends in there is good for him. I KNOW that he has to come eventually, and I won't be toting a preschooler around in my belly 3 years from now. But anyone who's done this before will hear me when I say IT DOESN'T MATTER!

Mama is ready, and 100% cooked too!

If you have anything helpful to say (like "I've heard that Baileys induces labour") please feel free to comment. If you have something not so helpful to say (like "maybe you'll be pregnant forever - just think of all the use you'll get out of your maternity clothes") then please refrain from opening your mouth, lest you wish to have my foot shoved in it.

And thus concludes my rant.

I love you all...thanks for listening! Cross your fingers that the next time you hear from us, it will be with a birth announcement, and not a crankier, even more overdue rant!

Peace out dudes.

8 comments:

Natalie @YMCbuzz said...

You're funny - I won't dare leave a cutesy comment.. I know exactly how you feel, I went 5 days late with my 10lbs 4oz baby, and OY did I want her O-U-T!

Good luck,
Natalie @YMCbuzz
http://www.YummyMummyClub.ca

Kristen said...

LOL! I always watch Anne of Green Gables when I need to cry. When Matthew dies out in the field, cradled in her arms...

thesmallmoments.wordpress.com said...

The Sunday night before the boys were born (they were born on a Thursday) I laid crying in bed telling my husband that I just couldn't be pregnant anymore...I was done...finished...I wanted them OUT! Sending you lots of "get out baby!" vibes!

V said...

"maybe you'll be pregnant forever - just think of all the use you'll get out of your maternity clothes" - ha! I guess the person that left that comment on your facebook doesn't read this blog!

As for a weepy movie, I'd say War Dance. It's a documentary and extremely sad and equally uplifting.

Jenn said...

Kristen...that movie always makes me cry too!

Ginger - you were carrying TWINS...I'd want them OUT too, twice as much if there were two of them!

V - she's one of the lovliest people I know (an no, she doesn't read the blog) but that comment was NOT what a pregnant lady wants to hear!

Lara said...

There's this movie about this couple who have been married forever and then his wife gets Alzheimer's and he has to put her in a home and she forgets him and I think i cried like the whole time. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Away_From_Her

Have you asked the midwives if they can do anything? I pretty much overdid it until my blood pressure spiked and then they sent me in to be induced. But you don't want to be induced.

janelle said...

I know how you feel. I had to be induced because of medical reasons but I really really really didn't want to be. I tried everything before hand too. Finally what put me in labor was... pitocin! lol! It's miserable at the end and I'm sorry you have to go through it. If it makes you feel any better, soon you'll have your baby in your arms and you will barely even remember this misery.

A Crafty Mom said...

I found nipple stimulation worked for me, but I had a breast pump that I used, so it was pretty heavy-duty nipple stimulation :) It definitely had my contractions increasing pretty quickly.

Good luck, it will be ANY day now!!