Monday, October 30, 2006

Dear Santa

Dear Santa

I know it’s only October and all, but I figured that you probably wouldn’t be very busy up there yet, and in your down time you may be chillin out, surfing the net, perhaps looking to see who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, and in your searching you may come across our wee blog here. (As you can see, we’ve been nothing but Nice!) So I thought I’d take this opportunity to get our requests in now. Besides, you probably get so many last minute orders that it likely pisses you off sometimes, and we’d like to stay in your good graces.

What we would really like for Christmas (and I do mean we – it can be one big present for all of us) is a Tractor. Like Lawnmower Dave’s, only better. I’m pretty sure that somewhere in the commandments it says something along the lines of “thou shalt not covet thy neighbours tractor,” but I just can’t help it (plus we’re not exactly religious around here!)

Now I know a tractor is a little on the pricey side, so I would like to offer another option of procuring this wee gift. My mom said she would buy us a tractor if we helped her sell the greenhouse. So perhaps instead of you getting it, you may know someone who’s interested in purchasing a lovely house and a few acres of Greenhouses? I mean heck, you have to be one of the most well connected guys around, you know what’s on everyone’s wish list – and while a tractor may be an exorbitant request, I think 8 acres of house and greenhouses would be even more outrageous!

There are a few other little things we need, but I want you to understand that we’d only want these things if there was no way possible that you could get us the tractor, otherwise we’d be being a bit greedy!!

We need a maid. Preferably live in, but live out will do in a pinch. Maybe she can explain to me the secret of the dust bunnies. Where do they come from? How do they return so quickly when I sweep them all away, no matter how careful I am to get them all? Do they multiply in the night like real bunnies…they must, because there is no other way I can explain it!

We need a gardener. This can be a deferred gift, until spring. I couldn’t house a maid and an idle gardener…they may start getting on like the dust bunnies.

Have you ever considered paying off people’s Visa’s as a Christmas gift? I’m sure it would be appreciated world wide! If you wanted to give it a try, we’d like to volunteer as a test subject. (Although, the tractor may be cheaper!)

So I think that’s about it from us. There’s a few little things we’d like, but if you can pay off the visa we’ll just run out and grab them ourselves to save you the hassle!

We’re looking forward to seeing you, please don’t be frightened by the incredible likeness of you that you’ll see on our front lawn when you arrive – while nothing could ever replace the real you, we like to keep you around to show that we’re some of your biggest fans!

Take care, see you soon, don’t get stuck in our driveway when you come!
The Lucas Family

P.S. While you’re free to visit any of our friend’s blogs listed in the sidebar, please do not hold any of their actions against us in the naughty/nice department. Especially those of The Single Girl…she’s been very naughty (but in the nicest possible way!)

1 comment:

The Single Girl said...


I have been nothing but good ... ask anyone ;)

you're just jealous cause I have an ipod